| At a very young age, my mom was able to notice a natural talent in my artistic abilities. Despite my very young age, and lack of any motivation and direction for my future, the one thing that stayed true to me was my passion for drawing. As my mom continued to encourage me and push me I developed into a firmly grounded artist, but after one day, my fate and passion for art came to an extremely abrupt halt. About five years ago in my life, my mom suddenly passed away from a brain hemorrhage. I was overcome with a despair so great that life seemed to stop all at once, preempting the future entirely, let alone any meaning for existence. After this crucial moment in my life, my life and dreams fell apart right in front of me. As a matter of fact, the hardships just continued to come without any stop, which resulted in so many waivering perceptions of the future.
I’ve been through just about everything, maybe a little too much for your average 21 year old. From my mom passing away at the tender age of 17, to my diagnosis of PTSD, to the divorce that happened after, it all happened for a reason. Though I may not know what that reason quite is yet, I do know that has molded me into who I am today. Although for the moment my artistic career came to a momentary stop, it was something that I always found myself coming back to. In the meantime I found myself trying to find the fine balance between yearning to be a part of something greater and learning all the things I possibly can because I found myself constantly stuck in a very ambiguous world. Not having too much direction with what I wanted to do after all of my extremely harsh experiences I had to endure, the one thing that continued to stay true to me was the comfort I found in drawing. It was my world away from the reality that helped me in so many different aspects. It was the constant visits to this world that contributed my development as an artist as well as my steady process of healing. But art being such a complex subject matter, these simple “visits” were only a mere fraction of the entire puzzle.
Looking back at all countless nights of pain and tears, I honestly wouldn’t take a single day back, for if it wasn’t for those events that took place in my life, I don’t think that I would be the person that I am today. My persistent determination to succeed and my strong hunger to achieve something great came about from all of these experiences. So many significant people in my life told me that through these experiences, my mentality and essential being would be determined by how I channel all these negative emotional experiences. I had a choice to walk with grief as my close friend and walk blindly around the world with no motivation or direction. But what I ultimately chose to do is try to use all this negative energy and apply it into my life to do good and help bring about the very characteristics that are needed to succeed and become the person that I’ve always yearned to be. And above all else, I’ve used these experiences to passionately pursue art and use it to affect the world in a positive way.
After maturing and having the ability to somewhat experience the real world for myself, I found many other things that have sparked my interest. From construction, to business, and the various internships I’ve been through, the love that I had for drawing as a kid always comes back. Despite any situation I find myself in, I find out that more than anything, Art was an outlet for me. As the prompt asks for, I can list what I’ve done in terms of experiences in professions, but in my perspective art is a subject matter that is so much more profound. It cannot be determined with how many years you worked for a major art industry or how many classes you’ve taken. The ability to produce art is a god given gift that not all people possess. Whether it may be the private lessons that I took, the countless hours I spent in my room drawing away, or the numerous classes that I’ve taken at colleges, the one thing that outweighs all of these factors is the persistent passion I’ve had for art. After all of my firm convictions in my life, I knew that I was put on this earth with a gift. Artists are people who thrive off of emotions, whether good or bad and produces something that might be able to provoke the same emotion or response in another. People constantly undermine and give little credit to how difficult it is to have the ability to express your emotions through another medium. But this world without art is something that cannot be imaginable. Inspirations are all around us. From buildings, to car, to technology, it all revolves around a creator. Unlike other fields of professions, I think art is more a lifestyle that develops through the course of many experiences. I for one, completely believe that I have all of the essential requirements, talents, and characterisitcs to take this subject and .
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| Its been 4 years now.....oh how time flies.
If only you were still here to see me now.....u'd be soooo proud of me. Bein ur dream CAL student... and gettin internship offers and scouts already........hope ur happy up there. Miss you like crazy. Love You.
Euneeh.....i know u look at my xanga. Stay strong....for ahbbah.....i konw u miss me sometimes...so dont be afraid to call. Take good care of Corey....miss you a lot too lil sis. Take cares....and do well in school.....ur are the pride and hope of the family just like me... ^^ Love u sis.
Dad....i know u look at my xanga here and there too....so yea....I love you. Thanx for everything. I'll make u proud.....dont u sweat.
And for Mom......I miss you so much....I hope i'm bringing a smile upon ur face as u look down at me. Love u too.
Cuz in the end......life will be ok.....it will always be ok...........
eveyone keep ur head up high.....live it up. U only have one chance. Make it worth while.
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| Dam.....I havent posted in ages huh......hows everyone doin out there? Hope yer all good...
Well....i'm not too sure why i stopped updating all of a sudden.....maybe jus cuz i was busy?....but das not it. I guess I jus didn't feel like it anymore.
Anyways.....a lot of things have been changing in my life.....for the better....and of course...always the worse. Can never have one without the other. For some reason the bad always outweghs the good......no?
Emery-Studying Politics
This is the politics of seeing you dance with him
We began with concluding remarks
Break up the pieces and examine the parts
Your words always cut when their cliche
But here’s my knife because I came for it all....
dam miss u CC. |
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| yo yo yo wuttup homies!!!
this is jeffy lee checkin in from sunny san diego... seeing if everyone is alive and well!!
im coming home this weekend so dont yall worry...
chillin with my girlfriend this break was outrageously crazy...
aiite. payce |
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